Cory and I are not making it financially. We budget every dollar (almost). We are frugal. We receive help from the government. We don't have any medical insurance. He is working full time and some overtime and pursuing a second bachlers degree because we cannot maintain this lifestyle forever. And I have felt so useless in this aspect.
I have no marketable skills.
I didn't complete college. I don't have any specific training. I never interned. I don't see myself in any career. Working for minimum wage would not even pay the sitter. And I cannot live away from the kids. I have talked with the Lord about this a lot. I have told Him I'd do more if He wanted me to,
but I had NO IDEA what to do.
Until we went to Idaho on vacation.
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| Fording the river to climb to a waterfall. Cory and I were talking on our drive to Idaho for our summer family vacation. Those long drives are often the opportunities for introspection of our marriage, our family and our goals. |
We were just updating each other on our lives. I was telling him about the I workout program called Insanity I began and how I became connected with a beach body coach. (That is a story in itself)
Cory said, "that sounds like something you would be so good at."
I thought he was teasing. The name "beach body" sounds pretty awful to me and he doesn't usually get too interested in that sort of thing.
But he wasn't kidding. He went on to encourage me over and over again about what my strengths and giftings are. I'm a coach by nature (often to a fault), I'm motivating and inspiring (or so my husband says). I love health and am passionate about helping others on their journey toward healthy living, I love working out, etc.
By the time we reached Idaho my thumbs couldn't keep up with my brain. Ideas were pouring in and I was trying to catch them on the notepad on my iphone.
What if I could mentor women in areas like healthy eating, feeding kids well, getting kids involved, meal planning, loosing weight, improving digestion, overcoming sugar additions, living with more energy, excercise and fitness, etc??
I starting thinking long term. Cory said I should look into getting some education and certifications in fitness and nutrition. (That's intimidating. I'm not the best at smarty pants school stuff like him)
Then my friend who is a beach body coach messaged me about a 5 day free informative class she was hosting about what coaches are and how to become one! I hadn't told her I was interested. Literally while I was talking to Cory about all of this my phone dinged with the message from her!
I don't know if Beach Body will be my landing point. But it may be a good starting point. And the timing sure seemed special.
I went to a little mom's retreat a few months ago and spent hours around the table, smiling from ear to ear, teaching them how to soak oat meal, soak beans, make stock, getting probiotics through foods and drinks they can make at home. It was energizing for me. I wouldn't need to get paid! My heart is in it, it wouldn't be about the money.
But what if,
just what if
the Lord was letting me dream.
Even encouraging me to dream.
Beginning to fulfill a dream that was certainly there by not fully realized until that moment in the suburban.
That lines up with the way God has been manifesting His love to me lately. The last season of my life was a very difficult one. I left it very wounded and empty. I spent years getting hurt and nursing the wounds, and dealing with recovery. It was all purposed. All good. But very inward focused. And this season has been one of restoration. As I've recognized the healing He has done in my heart and received the things He wanted to give me I have felt freedom.
Freedom to pursue the desires of my heart. (I actually put it that way just a few weeks ago)
Someone asked me,
"what are the desires of your heart?"
I couldn't tell her what my desires are specifically. I'd been healed, but I hadn't yet let myself discover what I wanted to pursue with this new freedom. I have no idea what to expect of this or how to make it come about. I am NOT business minded. But I am excited.
It seems surreal. Like a dream. But maybe it's supposed to right now. So now I'm dreaming. Dreaming big.
